Tempus fugit et nos fugimus in illus.

Freezing Time

 Rene Magritte. The Human Condition. 1935.

 

How nice. It feels like a sad homecoming.

Haven't written anything here in a while. It rather feels empty.

I guess I'm not really up to sharing some of my life's adventures here. But maybe that's just for now. I'd eventually put up something meaningful here in due time. I suppose I like the idea of Time standing still in this part of blog-dom. But then again, what the heck am I talking about? Beats me.

I don't have anything worthwhile to say.

It's good to be home, I guess.

Posted by: asenath at 11:52 | link | comments (1)

Let's Get Into Each Other's Hair!

Posted by: asenath at 23:40 | link | comments
sudden hair loss, dr piston, hair thinning, hair fall, hair treatment

 

  

You all know, by reading my previous entries, how frightened I am about leaving home, taking on a new job, and experiencing a very very different life outside my homeland. I suppose that's reason enough why I've wasted the whole week doing things that had nothing to do with 'the great move'. I couldn't for a moment bear to think that I just have a couple of weeks left to be with my family and my friends... and this beloved province I've come to love deeply. Oh now I'm getting sentimental, haha!

 

 

But seriously, it's not sentimentality that I'm being like this right now, but the fear of letting go -- of the things that are familiar, of the things that provide comfort. I'll have to start all over again adjusting to my new environment, meeting new faces, establishing relationships, making close and trustworthy friends, learning a new language, being sensitive to customs, learning to commute and memorize every street in my new home, and most importantly, learning a gargantuan chunk of things with regards to my new job. It turns out that they're following a different kind of curriculum, which seems dimensions apart from ours.  

 

Now wait one second, I said "home"!! Hmmm... now wouldn't that be nice to call Phnom Penh my home. Haha!! Wow, and never in a million years did I even dream of it!

 

Well, I'd just like to spend this time blabbering about whatever comes to mind. Afterall, this may be my last entry here in Sarungbanggi.

 

In case this becomes my last entry, then you'll know where to find me. See you there! :)

Posted by: asenath at 19:36 | link | comments (2)

Another of the things I love best...

 

My web-friend Clare would like to share with you her blog which I think you guys ought to check out! :) It was inspired by the docu-movie "My Date with Drew" (which I finally get to see just recently). I thought it was ingenious!

Also, my college friend and fellow-Jireh member, Aaron, has this Favatar which is an interesting way of personalizing your avatars, and something I have yet to fully understand and explore. From what I do understand, it only works in limited systems or programs like Firefox. But check it out anyway and maybe, get your own Favatar!

 

 

 

 

So what have I been doing?

 

 

First, I got sick again and finally got back to work last Thursday with a handful of catch-up work that needed to be done right away! My colleagues were joking that I probably got sick by my being so stressed with the preparations for leaving the country. That may be partially true, but the truth is, all of us in the family got sick this week. How and why can only be pointed to the fact that it's the flu and colds season and we definitely caught the virus. Thankfully though my mom was getting better (health-wise) at the time so at least one of us get to have stuff done in the house and take care of us sick people!

 

Second, I have been researching the best I can about ASEAN policies, expats working in Cambodia, my school (which is nowhere to be found online. All I've researched so far are the school's tuition fees and grade levels), real motodop fares, and sites that teaches the Khmer language. I haven't bee progressing that much in that area, I'm afraid.

 

I have also recovered the knack for reading again. I've started with G.K. Chesterton's The Incredulity of Father Brown whilst juggling it with a Neil Gaiman's Smoke and Mirrors (which to my utter joy is now sold in National Bookstore); plus a book about the Problem-Solving approach to preschool teaching, and another book about the Visual Arts (a critical view). Oh yeah, I have got to read those in preparation to what's ahead.

 

 

 

 

We finally get to watch Superman Returns which I thought was really very nice, and which my dad thought was too much of a love story than a Superman-comeback-action-flick. That's the same thing he said about Pearl Harbor.

 

And just as I thought, I loved The Lake House! I thought Keannu Reeves did a really good performance as the love-lorn architect. Sandra Bullock did well too, except I didn't quite like her American character compared to the Korean character. Overall, I think I'd watch it again. Anyway, I really thought it was wonderful seeing it with Sweet and Ann. Wow! It's probably been over a year (or not) since we three last watched a movie together. The times have really changed.

 

 

 

 

Prior to that I discovered three Korean films I had the privelege of watching online. Here they are:

 

Daddy Long Legs = Based on Jean Webster's novel (and a high school fave of mine) Daddy Long Legs, but with a very different twist. It's a nice love story about a girl who receives mysterious presents from an anonymous admirer whom she had given the pet name 'Daddy Long Legs'. There's a cameo appearance here of Hyun Bin too (Cyrus in Kim Sam Soon).

 

 

My Girl and I = Well, the story is quite formula to me already, but it was still a nice movie with all the good aesthetics most Korean films have. The story simply centers on two high school sweethearts whose inseparable affections was tested by a tragedy. Well, something like that, haha! I hope I'm not giving too much away. This one stars Gyeon-Woo from My Sassy Girl, and co-stars the girl from the tv series Endless Love. Sorry, I don't know their names.

 

 

She's On Duty! = Now this movie was loads of laughter for me! It stars Kim Sam Soon (haha, what's her real name again?) as a detective who went undercover as a high school student. It's really fun to watch. An action-comedy you may like. Now I see why this girl got the part as Kim Sam Soon - she can play the loud and tactless woman very well.

 

 

Not only did I find Korean movies there, I also found something I never thought even existed: The Japanese Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (live action) TV series [all 50 of them]!! I was so amused watching it. I thought they did a pretty good job making a senshi series out of it. I still love Sailor Mars! She's the only character there (in my opinion, of course) whom they got very right.

 

 

 

Hours after vespers...

 

I arrived at the church building all alone earlier this evening and began searching for a line-up of songs right away. I am very disappointed with what I found. Some acetates are missing, and a huge bulk of chords are also missing. So I had to change my line-up again in accordance to the available acetates and chords. I spent the time there all alone for over an hour, and I sent Kuya Kibong, Kuya Fil and Ian a message to come to the practice since they are assigned this week with me. I tried not to be angry, but I was. All right, so I was gritting my teeth while I was sending them the text messages, and gritted my teeth more when none of them bothered to answer back. But I prayed for the Lord's mercy and kept my cool the best I can by singing songs geared towards the Lord. Thankfully, Kuya Kibong appeared and I am grateful to the Lord for that as my anger quickly fled. In fact, I think I was the gentlest I've ever been in my disposition towards anyone today. Kuya Fil also came a little later after that and I am blessed to have these two incredible musicians with me. It is my hope and prayer that they'll be here to stay 'till I return. Ian once again made a no-show (what does he do anyway? May pinagkaka-busy-han ba yun?) so I'm bracing myself for tomorrow's lack of rhythm in our music. Oh dearie.

 

 

Sadly, I feel as if the Music Ministry had really lost it. I sometimes play with the idea that this may be partially the reason why God is all of the sudden taking me away from here, to spare me from the ministry's unacceptable behaviour. Haha! Of course, it's just a thought with no solid truth in it. The Lord simply has other plans fom me from the very start which involves Cambodia in all its Christ-lackness. But I really am angry that those who had been gifted with musical capabilities in the church, even before I entered the scene, are not committed any longer to the work that were assigned to them beforehand. I hope they realize that they are far more lucky/blessed than I to have this opportunity to praise and worship God with fellow believers when I, where I am going, will have to miss it for a very long time (if I ever attended church, it would be amongst a multitude of strangers of another denomination). I just tell myself whenever I am very disappointed by my band's failure to show up during their assignments, or if some assignments are passed down to me because those who should've been taking responsibility can't do it or refused to do it, that they are answerable to God for their actions and they will have to make an account of it sooner or later.

 

And yet, I'm still hopeful that some of them will finally come to realize their mistakes and help bring the ministry back to its former glory (in a manner of speaking). I just wish it were soon, especially since Ann and I are leaving town. Oh well, I just console myself with the thought that the moment I step off this country, I won't be worrying about them any longer. Thank God for that!

 

Posted by: asenath at 11:03 | link | comments (4)

Drastic changes... really drastic

SOMETIME AFTER MIDNIGHT

 

Scrap everything I've written on the previous post: I was just arguing with myself; battling with my thoughts and feelings; weighing pros and cons.

 

I've made up my mind now: I'm going!

 

My dad is right: When Opportunity knocks, let it in. They only come once in a lifetime. It is indeed foolish to let go of such a chance when all other Filipinos out there would die to work abroad. My co-workers even agree with him. If they were in my place, they said, they won't hesitate to grab the opportunity.

 

So reason wins. My one big problem now is breaking the news to the bosses.

 

 p.s.

Nope, money won't be the motivation but self-improvement and 'upgrade', haha!

p.p.s

We were just wondering though, how come the school has offered me a job when they haven't interviewed me yet? It's a big "wow" for us because, considering my situation, it's pretty unusual. I can only think of a few reasons why they did so.

 

 

 

 

SOMETIME BEFORE MIDNIGHT...

 

I talked to the boss today and she is letting me go. It was such a pleasure and a relief to talk to her, knowing now that she is supportive of my decision and was gracious enough to advice me on what to do. She even told me that were she to receive such an opportunity, she will grab it right away (and though I'm terrified of her, I was very moved and inspired about everything she said. I love her!). It sure pays to be honest.

 

I really am grateful to the Lord for answering my prayer with regards to my situation. Heaven knows how frantic I was the other night praying about what to say to her; even rehearsing the lines that I've come up with in my head before I slept. Haha! I'm just grateful that things went very well today. I still have to tell the other boss about it and I hope her reaction will be the same. Now I have to look for someone to replace me soon.

 

As for working visas, well, that's another thing I need to work on. Goodness! I have a gazillion of things to do before I leave!!! Oh I don't know!! There's just tons of things in my mind right now.

I'm scared. I am very scared, but at the same time a teeny-weeny-bit excited. Like what my co-teacher have said, I'll finally get to teach the subject I love: Art. Still, the weight of fear is heavier on my chest. Fear of other people's expectations, lonliness, adjustment, not performing well, the HS students, the new environment, the unsociabe dog at my Aunt's house, and the interaction with foreign (and probably Brisitsh-speaking) folks up there. I was also told that my boss there is a 'bruha' (that's the exact word used but I don't know how true that is) so God help me!

So much for risk-taking and sacrifices. Whew!!

Sigh... . Still, I am very grateful to the Lord that He was gracious enough to give me this blessing of an opportunity that other people are dying to have. Me, of all people! I may not like it now, but I may like it later. I may have many apprehensions or hesitations today, but I know I am in good hands and I believe that these too shall pass. There's is nothing for me to fear.

It is my fervent desire to do His will and serve Him. Like I've always said, wherever He takes me I will follow. I may not see what's ahead of me, but He does and so I will trust Him completely.

...But why Cambodiaaaa???!!!  

Haha! I think I know why.

To God be the glory!

Posted by: asenath at 23:41 | link | comments (3)